In the previous post I hyped up a pub beer festival I've had a hand in organising.
The good news is: it's going to be great anyway.
The bad news is: due to the remote location and short notice we haven't been able to get as many of my wish-list beers as I would have liked.
Here's the list (updated in real time as more info comes in. If anyone can provide any info on the blank bits please comment):
Thursday, 25 August 2011
Thursday, 18 August 2011
You are all invited to a beer festival I'm helping to organise

It's at the Queens Arms, Biggar Village.
My role is selecting the beers. I've themed the event "Britain's Got Brewing Talent". We are busily sourcing beers from the more progressive of the country's craft-breweries. We will even have some rather interesting keg beers.
Here's the location of the pub. As you can see, it's a bit off the beaten track. I've got a spare room (single bed). Drop me a line if you fancy a visit.
Saturday, 30 July 2011
A Bit of Brewing History.
I was in the Stagger Inn, Stainton a few days ago for a family do, making use of Monday's happy hour and two-for-one deals.
The food is remarkably good given the low prices. Coniston Bluebird could have been a little fresher and cooler. The coloured lightbulbs add nothing to the place except to make it look a bit of a tart's boudoir. Nonetheless, it should be on your radar for a reasonable pub feed if you're visiting South Cumbria. It's a couple of miles from Cumbria's biggest tourist attraction – the South Lakes Wildlife Park – where the food offering is abysmal, so it's worth making a note of.
Hidden away on the wall of the gents' toilets are two old photographs. They aren't dated but in the corner of each is the inscription "Bass, Burton."
I managed to get a snap of one of the pics, but loitering in toilets with a camera isn't my preferred occupation, so I left the second one.
I might be mistaken, but these pictures looked like very old, possibly original, prints. Does anyone know if this picture has appeared anywhere else? Have I discovered a significant snapshot of Britain's brewing heritage, or did they pick it up at Athena?
The food is remarkably good given the low prices. Coniston Bluebird could have been a little fresher and cooler. The coloured lightbulbs add nothing to the place except to make it look a bit of a tart's boudoir. Nonetheless, it should be on your radar for a reasonable pub feed if you're visiting South Cumbria. It's a couple of miles from Cumbria's biggest tourist attraction – the South Lakes Wildlife Park – where the food offering is abysmal, so it's worth making a note of.
Hidden away on the wall of the gents' toilets are two old photographs. They aren't dated but in the corner of each is the inscription "Bass, Burton."
I managed to get a snap of one of the pics, but loitering in toilets with a camera isn't my preferred occupation, so I left the second one.
I might be mistaken, but these pictures looked like very old, possibly original, prints. Does anyone know if this picture has appeared anywhere else? Have I discovered a significant snapshot of Britain's brewing heritage, or did they pick it up at Athena?
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
Beer Festival Fun
It's that time of year again. The GBBF is nigh.
No doubt I'll be bumping into many of you at Earls Court next week. If I haven't made your acquaintance before, please do introduce yourself. You'll find me not unadjacent to the Bières Sans Frontières bar.
I usually gravitate toward the foreign bars at the big festivals. So it was at South West London CAMRA's Battersea Beer Festival in 2003. The venue was Battersea Arts Centre, a short walk up Lavender Hill from legendary craft beer bar "Microbar".
I was there with my friends Alex (who later went on to run Microbar) and Sarah, a regular customer.
We spied some unfamiliar weiss beers which obviously needed testing. We ordered three different ones. The chap serving ticked many of the CAMRA cliche boxes – scruffy, straggly hair and beard, keys and gadgets attached to his belt etc. I used to know his name but it escapes me now. I'll point him a out at Earls Court if you like.
Anyway, he opened the three bottles. He handed Alex and me our bottles to pour ourselves. He took Sarah's glass and was about to start pouring.
"It's OK thanks, I'll do it myself"
"But it's a German weiss bier"
"Yes, I know. I'll..."
"It's meant to be poured in a particular ..."
"I do know how to pour it. Just give me the bottle"
"You know it 's brewed with wheat malt and special yeast that imparts..."
"Yes I know"
"You have to pour it very caref..."
"Yes, I do know. Please could you give me the bottle"
By now Sarah was reaching across the bar. Her hands were on top his on the bottle and glass and they were sliding backwards and forwards across the bar.
But you don't understand, It's a German weiss bier, You need to...
Sarah could stand no more. Her voice raised to a "don't mess with me" level she met his gaze and said:
"I AM FUCKING GERMAN. I AM FROM FUCKING MUNICH. STOP FUCKING PATRONISING ME."
He let go of the bottle pretty sharpish.
No doubt I'll be bumping into many of you at Earls Court next week. If I haven't made your acquaintance before, please do introduce yourself. You'll find me not unadjacent to the Bières Sans Frontières bar.
I usually gravitate toward the foreign bars at the big festivals. So it was at South West London CAMRA's Battersea Beer Festival in 2003. The venue was Battersea Arts Centre, a short walk up Lavender Hill from legendary craft beer bar "Microbar".
I was there with my friends Alex (who later went on to run Microbar) and Sarah, a regular customer.
We spied some unfamiliar weiss beers which obviously needed testing. We ordered three different ones. The chap serving ticked many of the CAMRA cliche boxes – scruffy, straggly hair and beard, keys and gadgets attached to his belt etc. I used to know his name but it escapes me now. I'll point him a out at Earls Court if you like.
Anyway, he opened the three bottles. He handed Alex and me our bottles to pour ourselves. He took Sarah's glass and was about to start pouring.
"It's OK thanks, I'll do it myself"
"But it's a German weiss bier"
"Yes, I know. I'll..."
"It's meant to be poured in a particular ..."
"I do know how to pour it. Just give me the bottle"
"You know it 's brewed with wheat malt and special yeast that imparts..."
"Yes I know"
"You have to pour it very caref..."
"Yes, I do know. Please could you give me the bottle"
By now Sarah was reaching across the bar. Her hands were on top his on the bottle and glass and they were sliding backwards and forwards across the bar.
But you don't understand, It's a German weiss bier, You need to...
Sarah could stand no more. Her voice raised to a "don't mess with me" level she met his gaze and said:
"I AM FUCKING GERMAN. I AM FROM FUCKING MUNICH. STOP FUCKING PATRONISING ME."
He let go of the bottle pretty sharpish.
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Britain's First "Craft Beer" Bar
Just over ten years ago a bar opened in London.
Not just any bar. Britain’s first new-wave beer bar. Britain’s first bar, as far as we know, explicitly using the term “craft beer.” It was our bar. Me and my brother.
In 1998 I’d had a holiday in San Francisco. I’d gone there knowing good beer was available but expecting to experience the feelings I’d always had at home – constant frustration at the lack of opportunities to drink the stuff, and the thought that my interest in beer was somehow embarrassing and not to be mentioned in polite company for fear of being perceived loutish or nerdy.
I was staying in my friends’ flat in a fairly lifeless neighbourhood of car dealerships and furniture showrooms. On my first night in San Francisco, exhausted by travelling, I needed some beer. I went down to the grocery store on the ground floor of the apartment block. I discovered a range of colourful bottles and intriguing bottles. Result! That was the night I became enchanted by Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. There were also beers from Anchor and a number of other beers from Californian, Oregon and Washington I’d never heard of.
I’d struck lucky. The local grocery store had a good beer selection.
Well, I thought I’d struck lucky. What I found in the following two weeks was that good beer was everywhere. My initial find wasn’t anything special. These beers, and more, were everywhere. And what is more, the people drinking these beers were the very people that the real ale businesses at home found hard to sell to: young people and women.
This trip, and a return visit the following year, convinced me that the struggles and complaints of marginalisation in the world of real ale were simple failures of marketing rather than incontestable laws of nature. It’s that “narrative” thing: buy into the real ale mindset and buy the idea that good beer is a hard sell.
Back home Steve and I became evangelists for a new way of selling beer. We’d often mulled over the idea of opening a pub or bar that would do quality beer in a new way, ditching the real ale shibboleths. We wouldn’t be anti-lager or anti-keg, acknowledging that CAMRA’s proposition – real ale good; everything else bad – just ain’t true[1]. Beer would be on a pedestal, loud, proud and if you didn’t like it you could go elsewhere: there’d be no pandering to mass-produced blandness.
There were, and still are, lots of real ale pubs, but that model was not what we were about. We knew there were many potential customers who wished to drink good beer but not wear the “I’m a real ale drinker” rosette. The world of real ale has it’s own dogmas and narratives. There are the beliefs that it’s hard to sell beer to young people and it’s hard to sell beer to women. Is it any wonder?
There were, and still are, lots of real ale pubs, but that model was not what we were about. We knew there were many potential customers who wished to drink good beer but not wear the “I’m a real ale drinker” rosette. The world of real ale has it’s own dogmas and narratives. There are the beliefs that it’s hard to sell beer to young people and it’s hard to sell beer to women. Is it any wonder?
Strongly influenced by the American craft beer market with its profusion of microbreweries, the prefix “micro” spoke to us. The beers we would sell were largely characterised by their relatively small-scale production. MicroBar seemed natural and it stuck. We knew a microbar was a one-millionth of a bar of pressure but we didn’t think it was a problem.
We started doing some research into the nitty-gritty of the business: leases, funds, licenses, planning permission, suppliers – anything we could think of that might be useful to know. I found myself become a bit obsessed with identifying the subtle factors that made a bar or pub feel right. I carried around a thermometer to measure ambient temperatures; I carried a tape measure to find the optimum elbow-on-bar height. I closely watched people’s behaviour in pubs.
We spent a lot of time in the British Library’s business section in its old site at Clerkenwell. We studied marketing data and publications. All the pointers were that our emerging plan was a good one. I recently re-discovered at notebook I was using at the time. In it I found some hand-written notes:
Keynote Premium, Lagers, Beers [sic] and Ciders, 1997:
“Consumers are now discerning. They are drinking less but are prepared to pay more for something which they believe is good quality”
“The demand for premium lagers, ales and ciders has been growing continuously for many years. The cynical viewpoint is that the UK drinks industry provided low-quality drinks for far too long”
“The market for premium beers grew by 20.7% in 1992-1996, mainly dark beers.”
“The brewers have recognised that the public houses created in the sixties and seventies are no longer interested in the younger consumer but have failed to do anything about it.”
“The creation of more interesting modern on-trade outlets for drinks favours the supply of new premium brands.”
“Mature lager drinkers are discovering new, distinctive tastes from brewers in Europe, particularly Germany, Belgium and the Czech Republic.”
“Consumers in the UK are clearly interested not only in premium products but totally new concepts and brands.”
The long search for premises began. We weren’t going to compromise our ideals by being subject to a supply tie, so leased pubs were out of the question. We certainly couldn’t afford to buy the freehold of a pub. We had to look at the kind of premises that would define our business as a bar rather than pub.
We had a choice: fork out a stack of money for the lease on premises ready to trade, or fork out a stack of money making a bare “shell” premises fit for the job. There were lots of premises available but few had the requisite A3 planning status. The ones that did tended to be existing business for which the “premium” was hugely expensive. Taking on bare premises then failing to get a “change of use” to A3 was too risky.
Many months went by. We researched countless potential sites but were getting nowhere slowly. We lived in the area that is either described as Battersea or Clapham according to the whims of estate agents. One day, on Lavender Hill we passed a To Let sign on a boarded-up shop site. It looked like a disaster area but we called the agent anyway. It was in a state of disrepair after a company had taken a lease with the intention of building a Bulgarian restaurant. In documents we later inherited, the named individuals have to disappeared one at a time. They had started work knocking down walls and tearing up floors but it seems the people named were spirited away one at a time. The site was back in the hands of the landlord who was embarking on a very necessary renovation. Although the place was a wreck the Bulgarians had done something very useful – they’d successfully applied for change of use to planning permission to A3 status. The location wasn’t particularly good – few local business to provide lunchtime trade, and a somewhat grubby little corner within an otherwise affluent district – but we beggars couldn’t be choosers. It would have cost about £100,000 more to set up in the honeypots of Clapham High Street or the Junction. We’d just have to cope with being on one of the bus routes between them.
Taking on the lease of business premises is rather like buying a house. It’s a lot more complicated than renting a flat; an activity it superficially resembles. The landlord had, in principle, accepted our proposal and those obfuscating parasites known as solicitors were let loose.
Meanwhile we had to deal with another set of obfuscating parasites – the banks. We were looking for a loan of £50,000 secured against the future value of the lease and the future business[2]. We approached several. To our surprise, one said yes. The bank whose name resembles “Twat Nest” would lend us £50,000.
This was September 2000. All the ingredients were coming into place. That feeling of “keeping the plates spinning” familiar to all business owners was starting to occur.
Establishing some idea of the amount of time necessary for each of the ingredients, lease, loan, license, and countless other things, to be in place was of paramount importance. Missing ingredients would create delays and cost money. We asked the bank how long it typically takes for all the paperwork to be done and for us to get our hands on the loot. Nine weeks they said. Nine weeks.
We could be open by Christmas, or so we naively thought. The solicitors did their usual trick. They ground to a halt. Sorting out the minor niggling points in the draft lease became exercises of great tedious and tortuous letter writing. Although some were very necessary, such as the removal of the requirement that the premises be vacated between 11pm and 7am, some of the more arcane details seemed designed by solicitors to keep their colleagues in work. When a point was raised a letter had to be written to the landlord’s solicitors. This would take a week. The chap who owned the company that owned the building lived in the Caribbean. The reply would take a week and more. It was as if email and fax hadn’t been invented.
December arrived and the lease was signed. The loan funds were nowhere to be seen. We embarked on the renovation with our funds. Christmas came and went. January and February saw the building firm embark on the transformation while we dealt with a profusion of red-tape tangles.
We’d asked our solicitor about the license application. With an admirable and rare candidness he told us it wasn’t worth us spending money with him – we should do it ourselves. How to actually go about the application took all our detective powers. I believe it’s improved since the 2005 change in the licensing laws, but under the old system there was no book, leaflet or guide. Gaining insight into what was required for a new license relied on quizzing the clerks at the magistrate’s court. Do you know what the “Proper Office” is? No? Nor did we. We envisaged Victorian gentlemen busying themselves issuing enforcement notices for the covering-up of piano legs. This mysterious entity was one recipient of the application. There were eight others. An application in nine-tuplicate.
One of the terms of our lease was that we had a rent-free period of thirteen weeks in which to prepare the premises. Plenty of time – or so we thought.
The deal we had with the building company was that we’d pay a third upfront, a third during the work, and a third on satisfactory completion of the work. In mid-February the second payment was due. Five months on from the Twat Nest’s nine weeks advice, the loan money still hadn’t arrived. The builders drifted on to jobs on other sites. It would be unnecessarily tabloid to say they “downed tools” but the message was clear: we carry on building when you pay the second instalment. The rent-free thirteen weeks had evaporated and we were nowhere near ready to trade.
Things got frantic. We pestered family and friend for loans. The Twat Nest had given us corporate credit cards. In a living paradox, in effect, we borrowed money from the bank that was failing to lend us money. They gained from extra interest of course.
The building work resumed. The site needed inspecting by the council to ensure the regulations were being met. We had two or three visits from a kindly fifty-something chap wielding a clipboard. We drank cups of tea and chatted. All the boxes were ticked and nothing had to be altered. Three years later Steve called me with a sense of urgency: “put the telly on; the news; it’s that building bloke”. There he was, top of the news and on the front page of the newspapers. He had been sent down for a very long time for a particularly nasty series of rapes of young women going back twenty or so years. I had thought of myself as a pretty good judge of character but this made me reassess. Scary.
As the premises started to look like a bar we started decorating. Next door was a paint shop. They provided test pots of paints and we decorated one wall with splotches of vivid colour. After much chin-rubbing, a three colour palette was decided upon: a rich plummy dark red, a sand colour and a pale grey for the ceiling. With the decorating underway a friend visited and remarked that we’d chosen the colour scheme of Chimay Red. It wasn’t intentional.
The licensing committee sat once a month. To get a license, all the paperwork had to be in place and the premises be inspected by members of the committee to check it was fit to trade. If you couldn’t tick these boxes, or you anticipated you couldn’t tick these boxes, your application would roll over to the next month. And so it was in February, March and April 2001 we watched the licensing session come and go. Thanks to the Twat Nest’s utter shoddiness we were paying rent on our premises while not trading.
In this period were on the phone to the Twat Nest almost daily. A poster and a leaflet in the local branch declared that business managers were based locally[3] and they were available every day. Fucking liars.
One day I rang the business manager’s office. The manager’s assistant David told us Brian[4] wasn’t in the office that day. Getting frustrated I decided David would just have to do. I launched into my long list of niggling details the bank had to get a bloody move on with. About ten minutes into the call I stumped David with a question he couldn’t answer. This wrong-footed him. Letting his guard down, he said “I’ll have to hand you over to Brian for that one.” Available every day? Fucking liars.
My advice to new business owners is to treat every interaction with a bank just as you would with an estate agent or used car salesman. I also suggest recording every phone call you have with anyone important and make detailed notes of what was said. You really ought to tell those you are speaking to that you are recording them, but if you are simply recording them in order to keep notes and not retaining the recording, who’s to know? In legal proceedings contemporary notes are given a great deal of credence – so make good ones about any negotiations you undertake.[5]
We started to recruit staff. Stupidly, we put an advert in Clapham Junction job centre. We were very specific in that we wanted people who could hold a conversation. As we’d be expecting them to be familiar with the beers they’d be selling, we didn’t want teetotallers. We firmly believe that if a customer props up the bar, he or she wants conversation and to meet new people; if a customer sits at a table, he or she wants privacy. The role of bar staff is not simply to serve and drinks; bar staff are the catalysts for the social interaction of customers at the bar. The bar staff would have to be able to hold an intelligent conversation and not be shy; they would also have to serve beer correctly. The latter is the easy bit. Our interviews were designed to eliminate the candidates who we thought would struggle with the former. The fools at the job centre disregarded our needs. Streams of people came knocking at the door straight from their consultation with their job advisors. It became annoying. We were spending time fending off people who could barely speak English and, to our astonishment, we even had to interview teetotallers – umpteen times we had people tell us “Oh no, I don’t drink, I’m a devout [Christian/Muslim/Hindu].” We phoned the job centre and told them quite firmly not to send non-English speakers and teetotallers. But still they came. I presume the job centre functionaries were happy presenting to their bosses glowing figures about how many people had been successfully despatched to job interviews. That the valuable time of business owners was being wasted didn’t seem to be of any importance to them.
Time marched on apace. The place was starting to look like a bar. After long days painting, sawing and nailing we open a few bottles and put our elbows on the new varnish. Our research into suppliers had revealed James Clay & Sons. They’d been round to install two keg lines: Anchor Steam and Liberty Ale, the only US keg beers in the UK at that time. Tentatively we sampled them. Yup, that’s the stuff. The Beer Seller delivered countless cases of bottled beer and we eagerly filled our newly-leased fridges.
May arrived and with us working frantically to finish furbishing. Soon we felt we were ready for inspection by the licensing committee. On Tuesday 8th May we dutifully attended court and went through the rigmarole of affirming and confirming our license application. The magistrates would visit the following day.
Wednesday 9th May 2001. Butterflies the size of pterodactyls fluttered in our stomachs. At 2pm two members of the committee and a clerk knocked on the door. One of the magistrates did all the talking. A big rosy-cheeked bloke, he looked no stranger to the delights of public houses. They toured the building making sure all the essential facilities were in place. “All good”, he told us, “you’ve got your license, the full paperwork will follow.”
Sighs of relief were breathed.
That evening at 6pm, we opened the doors. Customers arrived. They drank beer.
Two weeks after we opened the loan funds from the Twat Nest arrived. This was the middle of May 2001, eight months after we’d been told nine weeks. The most painful consequence of the bank’s shiteness was that we had used the working capital we had budgeted on. I still believe that when banks' business departments pore over their spreadsheets they conclude that bankrupting small business owners is more profitable than allowing them to prosper. A big launch do, advertising, a swanky website were sacrificed. Things were tight, and remained forever tight, but it was fun, as we did our pioneering bit for craft beer in the UK.
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[2] Eh, that’s what it were like in t’Good Old Days, before t’banking crisis.
[3] The business banking office was in Beckenham in SE London. That can almost be described as “local”. Later, once we were up and running, the business office moved to Hertfordshire. That cannot be described as “local” by any stretch of the imagination. We almost went to the Banking Ombudsman about this. I wish we had.
[4] Not their real names.
[5] None of this constitutes legal advice.
Thursday, 16 June 2011
What's your take on this story?
Link: Grandfather upset after local pub closes down builds his own in his back garden.
(BTW, Warning, It's a link to the Daily Mail website. If you value your sanity do not stray further than the page I'm directing you to.)
(BTW, Warning, It's a link to the Daily Mail website. If you value your sanity do not stray further than the page I'm directing you to.)
To Spam Or Not To Spam?


Yesterday I received this email from someone called Alison at Roosters Brewery.
Everyone can send an email by mistake, but this didn't seem to be a mistake.
It looked like inept PR.
I welcome press releases from pubs and breweries but they really must be explicit – an email lacking in detail and written in faux familiarity will not do.
- The email was sent bcc, i.e. the recipient list was withheld. It is possible that I was the only recipient, but it is likely it was sent to a number of people.
- The text is impersonal, there is no "Dear ...".
- I have never ever communicated directly with anyone at Roosters. This suggests my email address has been "harvested". It does appear on the Guild of Beer Writers Website but it is disguised to forestall harvesting by bots. That Roosters are in possession of it suggest suggests it was harvested deliberately.
- The text presumes that I am in possession of "pumps". I am not.
I suppose Alison could have been communicating directly with a friend or regular customer and mistakenly included the whole of the address book in the bcc field. If this is the case then, Alison, I apologise for drawing attention to your clumsiness.
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All good here, hope the pumps are flowing well at your end. The Stars and Stripes is one brew only and it tastes amazing !
Talking of good things, if in the area go to the Old Bell Harrogate and order the risotto, and a beer of course. I love food, it was excellent quite the best I've had in years. Sent this out as it was a special, it needs to be on the main food list, I'm starting a campaign.
Rant rant, back to beer, have a great week,
Thanks as always Alison.
UPDATE: This email from Tom Fozard arrived today -
UPDATE: This email from Tom Fozard arrived today -
Hello.
Sorry to intrude upon your day.
No doubt most of you will have seen an email from Alison in your inbox yesterday. If you haven't already opened it, it was sent to you in error, so don't bother opening it - it's really not worth the effort. It was quite a dull email.
If you're thinking, 'Why are these people emailing me?! I wish they'd just leave me alone!', please email me back and I'll happily remove you from our database of Beer Writers.
If, however, you're happy for us to keep you email address so that, if and when we have something of note to let you know about, just do nothing.
Sit back, relax and keep up the good work!
Many thanks,
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Me on Radio Cumbria
It would be understandable if you missed my little interview slot on Radio Cumbria about the forthcoming Cumbrian beer festival at The Rake.
Fortunately, just for posterity, with a little computer jiggery pokery, I captured a recording.
Click Here.
Yes, I know there were rather a lot of ums and errs. I'd be rubbish on Just a Minute.
Fortunately, just for posterity, with a little computer jiggery pokery, I captured a recording.
Click Here.
Yes, I know there were rather a lot of ums and errs. I'd be rubbish on Just a Minute.
Adding Insult To Injury
As Pete Brown so eloquently fumed, the royal wedding beer ban is "shameful, depressing, snobbish, bigoted, blinkered, rude, clueless, cruel, idiotic."
In a second kidney punch to Britain's brewers the wedding is going to feature British wine.
Don't misunderstand me, I applaud the royals willingness to support British wine.
Apparently "The decision is in keeping with the couple's desire to show off 'what Britain does best’".
Well, bugger me, what a fucking insult.
If you were not a republican before, you should be now.
Here's the link to the story. (Warning: it's the Daily Fucking Mail. At least it's a mirror site so that vile shitrag doesn't get the benefit of your clicks.)
In a second kidney punch to Britain's brewers the wedding is going to feature British wine.
Don't misunderstand me, I applaud the royals willingness to support British wine.
Apparently "The decision is in keeping with the couple's desire to show off 'what Britain does best’".
Well, bugger me, what a fucking insult.
If you were not a republican before, you should be now.
Here's the link to the story. (Warning: it's the Daily Fucking Mail. At least it's a mirror site so that vile shitrag doesn't get the benefit of your clicks.)
Monday, 4 April 2011
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
Throwing In The Towel?
This is a guest post by Neil Bowness, fellow #cbag (Cumbria Beer Appreciation Group) founder and partner in Plain Creative of Kendal.
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I'll start by saying that it isn't my sort of thing: I'm not at my most comfortable in a suit, so a black tie dinner doesn't sit too well with me. The 'entertainment' for the evening wasn't perhaps something that I would have chosen either – amateur boxing – but my fellow diners seemed to approve and the pugilists went about their sport with great gusto.
But I've already digressed. The event in question was “An Evening of Boxing” held at Kendal Town Hall last Thursday. Reception at 7:00, dinner at 7:30 prompt. Forty of your English pounds, thank you very much.
It was arranged and hosted by the Kendal & South Lakeland Licensed Victuallers Association (LVA) and, as you would expect, the landlords of the district were out in numbers along with a liberal helping of local businessmen, presided over by the town's mayor and other dignitaries.
So far, so good – nothing to write home (or on Jeff's blog) about. Well, not so good, actually, and the reason is beer.
The beer served was, to be quite honest, uninspiring: Tetley Smooth and Carlsberg. Granted, these may be staples of bars the length and breadth of the country, but one would have expected that for an event which is the highlight of the LVA's year that someone could have made at least a little effort.
I say 'a little effort' because that is all it would have taken to have some very good local beer on offer as there are, within roughly a 20 mile radius, eight very good breweries to choose from: Hawkshead, Barngates, Coniston, Cumbrian Legendary, Watermill, Dent, Winster Valley and Kirkby Lonsdale.
So would it be stretching things too far to enquire if any of these breweries would care to supply the beer for this event? I really can't imagine that any of them would pass up on the opportunity to have a couple of casks or kegs on offer for what was, essentially, a room full of landlords, so I have to assume that no-one from the LVA could be bothered trying.
Kendal is not unique in that it has seen a fair number of pubs close down, something which only last year the Chairman of the LVA commented as being a “sign of a crumbling industry”. Fair comment. But there are pubs that are doing well in my town, but they are the ones that are making an effort, especially when it comes to their wet sales.
I know the argument stands about tied pubs and what they can stock, but my argument also stands that a lot of pubs in my town have simply given up, as long as it keeps the wolf from the door. Does it come down to pure economics or do they simply not care? They would say the former, I would argue for the latter.
My companion for the evening - who had invited me to the event - suggested we left early (just after the cheese board was passed round) and it was just a short stroll to Burgundy's Wine Bar. Yes. I said “wine bar”.
Burgundy's is something of an institution, with a well-deserved reputation for its beer, both local real ale and world and specialist beers. On the bar that evening were beers from Yates and Coniston brewing alongside Fruli and Liefmans Fruit, with Goose Island, Orval and Rochefort amongst the bottled offerings. A merciful ending to the evening.
Yes, I know Burgundy's is very much a free house, but there are also tied pubs in Kendal who have negotiated some degree of flexibility when it comes to guest beers and they are the ones which are doing well. They haven't given up, they do care and their customers appreciate this.
Maybe Kendal is a snapshot of parochial market towns around the country, but as long as there are a few pubs and bars that do keep on trying then I shall continue to give them my support and, unfortunately, stay away from the others.
I must also pass comment on the food served at the event in question: it was fabulous, quite superb, the best meal I've had in Kendal for some time. It was also prepared and served by the students of Kendal College. If this is testament to their abilities then we have nothing to fear on that front, just a shame their skills could not have been paired alongside some worthy beverages.
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lva,
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poor beer choice
Thursday, 3 March 2011
Reinheits-Kaput?
There's a fantastic article in Slate about declining beer sales in Germany and the self-imposed straitjacket that may have something to do with it.
Link here.
Link here.
Tuesday, 22 February 2011
Monday, 31 January 2011
New Beers from Coniston Brewery
I do get a bit bored with the super-abundance of session ale in Cumbria. In my home county, by and large, I can only dream of the exotic beers of Belgium, the USA and elsewhere.
Nonetheless, a session beer I do always look out for is Coniston Bluebird, winner of CAMRA's CBOB in 1998. Bluebird is high art. A light biscuity malt background carries a layer of Challenger late-hop in a particularly elegant way. A bottled version is contract-brewed elsewhere but we get the real thing brewed at Coniston. All their beers are created by brewing consultant David Smith, a former Sam Smiths man, who favours simple single-hop recipes with relatively low bitterness.
Last November Pete Brown was in Cumbria doing a couple of readings. I took him on a all-too-brief tour of some of the region's pubs. We called in at the Black Bull Inn, home of the Coniston Brewery. We discovered a newcomer to the Coniston portfolio – a keg beer, "Thurstein Pilsner"*. Naturally, we gave it a try. Wow! If only all keg lager was this good surely "keg" and "lager" wouldn't have such negative connotations amongst certain beer-drinking types. In keeping with the house style we found it to be biscuity with a floaty hop character – Hallertau in this instance. A six week cold-conditioning ensures the beer is especially coherent and integrated. Some gentle lemon-ness redolent of Robinson's Barley Water and a hint of white pepper contributed to what adds up to be a tremendous new thirst-quenching addition to the Cumbrian beer landscape.
I have subsequently discovered another Coniston newcomer – Number 9 Barley Wine. This is an 8.5% beer with, what is to me, an old-fashioned flavour profile. At first I didn't quite get it. All I got was a sweet toffeeish beer with a hint of sherry that reminded me of countless indifferent mid-winter offerings from countless UK breweries. But I persevered. As the beer warmed up I became more aware of the key Coniston flavour characteristic – floaty hop character. While the liquid lingered on my palate aromas delivered themselves by mysterious internal passageways to my olfactory sense. Deliberately breathing in simultaneously through nose and mouth confirmed the flavour (or rather, aroma) of a generous late addition ofFuggles Challenger.
Now here's the exciting news: I had a good old chat with brewery boss Ian Bradley. He's happy to give some samples to bloggers who'll promise to give the beers a review. If you write about beer, either on the internet or dead-tree media, you can have a couple of bottles. All you need to do is leave your details here.
Nonetheless, a session beer I do always look out for is Coniston Bluebird, winner of CAMRA's CBOB in 1998. Bluebird is high art. A light biscuity malt background carries a layer of Challenger late-hop in a particularly elegant way. A bottled version is contract-brewed elsewhere but we get the real thing brewed at Coniston. All their beers are created by brewing consultant David Smith, a former Sam Smiths man, who favours simple single-hop recipes with relatively low bitterness.
Last November Pete Brown was in Cumbria doing a couple of readings. I took him on a all-too-brief tour of some of the region's pubs. We called in at the Black Bull Inn, home of the Coniston Brewery. We discovered a newcomer to the Coniston portfolio – a keg beer, "Thurstein Pilsner"*. Naturally, we gave it a try. Wow! If only all keg lager was this good surely "keg" and "lager" wouldn't have such negative connotations amongst certain beer-drinking types. In keeping with the house style we found it to be biscuity with a floaty hop character – Hallertau in this instance. A six week cold-conditioning ensures the beer is especially coherent and integrated. Some gentle lemon-ness redolent of Robinson's Barley Water and a hint of white pepper contributed to what adds up to be a tremendous new thirst-quenching addition to the Cumbrian beer landscape.
I have subsequently discovered another Coniston newcomer – Number 9 Barley Wine. This is an 8.5% beer with, what is to me, an old-fashioned flavour profile. At first I didn't quite get it. All I got was a sweet toffeeish beer with a hint of sherry that reminded me of countless indifferent mid-winter offerings from countless UK breweries. But I persevered. As the beer warmed up I became more aware of the key Coniston flavour characteristic – floaty hop character. While the liquid lingered on my palate aromas delivered themselves by mysterious internal passageways to my olfactory sense. Deliberately breathing in simultaneously through nose and mouth confirmed the flavour (or rather, aroma) of a generous late addition of
Now here's the exciting news: I had a good old chat with brewery boss Ian Bradley. He's happy to give some samples to bloggers who'll promise to give the beers a review. If you write about beer, either on the internet or dead-tree media, you can have a couple of bottles. All you need to do is leave your details here.
* A note to pedants: Yes, the brewery knows "Top-fermented lager" is an odd description. They really wanted to call it a Kölsch, but that's a protected designation. It was thought preferable to use the term Pilsner as it would make more sense to the potential consumer. Awkward, yes.
Sunday, 30 January 2011
Microbreweries on BBC Telly This Morning.
Here's this mornings piece on microbreweries from the BBC.
It's only short but at least it's positive.
It's only short but at least it's positive.
Monday, 17 January 2011
The Brazilian Job: My Hops and Glory Adventure (Part One)
In October 2007 I had an adventure. You may have already read about this adventure in Pete Brown's "Hops and Glory". If you haven't, I urge you to buy the book pretty sharpish to put what follows into context.
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My Blackerry beeped.
It was Thursday lunchtime, I was carrying two tins of paint, just leaving B&Q in my blustery hometown of Barrow-in-Furness. I plonked the tins in the boot of the car and myself in the driver seat. A quick check – is that email anything interesting?
I read it … and read it again. It wasn’t making sense. My natural scepticism was telling me it was a wind-up, but the sender, Pete Brown, had never struck me as a joker. Quite the opposite really. He seemed a somewhat more taciturn character – at least until he had some beer inside him. He wasn't the sort to wear a water-squirting flower, a spinning bow tie and gadget that gives an electric shock with a handshake – nor send spoof emails promising freebie trips to exotic climes.
At home I pondered the mysterious email:
"Help save my book! Earn literary immortality!
I’m looking for someone who would be prepared to fly out to Rio at my expense - this weekend – with a very special piece of luggage.
Story so far – Barry, the barrel of traditional IPA that I was taking to India by sea, blew up in Tenerife.
Coors have a replacement keg ready to go in Burton. I’m in Brazil, and will be on a ship out of here next Wednesday, 31st October. Brazilian customs are some of the most difficult in the world. It has proven impossible to have this keg sent by conventional DHL/normal import-export channels, because they like to hold on to it for ten days (we don’t have ten days) and they would open it to take a sample (meaning the remainder wouldn’t last until India).
We have three potential routes left – we’re waiting to hear if it will be possible to go in a diplomatic bag. We’re also waiting to hear if a specialist courier company will be prepared to touch it. Our final alternative is to have someone bring it in as personal luggage.
There is a small element of risk involved in this – you’d have to come through nothing to declare and hop not to get stopped. If you did get stopped, there would be duty and a fine to pay, or the beer would be confiscated. However, foreigners are hardly ever stopped coming into Brazil – they’re usually after natives returning with contraband. The journey time out here is tortuous, between 14 and 18 hours with one or two changes (Lisbon, and maybe Sao Paolo) with the final destination being Rio. Once you get to Rio, I’m in a hotel two blocks form Copacabana beach which still has rooms free at the time of writing! I’d meet all expenses.
We’re not yet sure whether we need someone to do this – we’ll know one way or the other in the next 24 hours - but I’m looking for a volunteer to stand by in case our other options fail. You have all been selected for admirable qualities such as steely determination, general derring-do or simply having the flexibility and attitude to be able to say, ‘fuck it, why not?’ I’d say flying Friday or Saturday night would be the best idea, have a few days on the beach, fly back maybe Weds or Thurs.
Do we have any interested parties?
Cheers Pete"
I already knew of Pete’s epic journey and slowly the email started to make sense. A lightbulb lit above my head: it had dawned on me I’d been granted the chance of an adventure. The inner sceptic was banished.
I’d had an idea that for my fortieth birthday I’d have an exotic holiday – not specifically beer-related for a change, possibly music-related. A strong contender for special holiday was Rio de Janeiro where I could hear a Samba School for real, preferably at Carnaval. My fortieth birthday had been and gone. Limited finances precluded the exotic holiday. So here I was ten months after the significant birthday being offered a trip to Rio de Janeiro! Was I going to volunteer? You bet.
Here’s my email reply sent eighteen minutes after Pete’s plea:
“ME ME ME!
Brazil! Blimey, my top fantasy location (that doesn't have a particular beer connotation).
I lurv Brazilian music! I was hoping to go there for my 40th birthday earlier this year (almost Carnival season) but finances wouldn't allow it.
What are Brazilian jails like?
Jeff”
You know already I’m a beer geek. You may not also know that I’m a music geek. I like (indeed, obsess about) very rhythmic music. I love jazz, soul, funk and latin In fact I love just about all the “Afrocentric” music forms … and that includes Brazilian music. If you’re also a music geek, here’s my iTunes library. I don’t really understand how my particular musical interests came about. In my formative years in the Eighties Barrow-in-Furness was (and still is) an indie-focused town. Not me though, I’d had several musical Damascene conversions. About the time O Levels were turning into A Levels it had dawned on me that black people made music too. I hammered my local record library. I was exhilarated by what I discovered. That feeling hasn't left me.
I still had a very slight nagging feeling that I was just missing the point of a joke. An hour or two went by and another email arrived. That particular email eludes me but it said something like this: “It looks like it’s you; nobody else can do it. Get a bag packed and await further instructions.” The sense of elaborate joke was gone.
Emails flew back and forth the following day. I emailed an old school friend at the local newspaper – would he be interested in a story? Of course! Preparation continued and a few beers helped counter the surging adrenaline.
The Big Day. My flight wasn’t until nine in the evening so I had plenty of time to drive the 350 miles to London via Burton-on-Trent where I was to collect Kev the Keg. My trusty Mondeo delivered me to Burton in time for lunch where I tracked down the legendary Steve Wellington who was mission control for Pete as well as the brewer of the beer. I can imagine the call from Tenerife: “Burton: we have a problem.” Steve was most hospitable. We chatted beer and had lunch while my inner sergeant-major shouted “GET A MOVE ON YOU’VE GOT A PLANE TO CATCH!” Steve had the replacement keg and a magnum bottle prepared. The magnum was for my hand luggage and the keg for the hold. Should they keg go astray – or be confiscated – hopefully the magnum would get through.
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I help myself to few samples of the Hops and Glory special beer. |
I headed for Wandsworth in South West London. My old Barrow friend Steve Bassett lives there. He has been graciously putting up with my regular invasions since I left London. He puts a roof over my head – I give him bottles and bottle-openers scavenged from beer events. I had an hour to spare. I parked the car in the only unrestricted space in Wandsworth (it’ll cost you big money for me to tell you where it is) and flopped in to Steve’s flat. Enough time for a cup of tea and a bag check before heading for Heathrow. I left Steve with four bottles of Pete’s IPA.
En-route to the airport my phone rang. A crackly Pete sounded stressed. He explained his ongoing ship’s departure had been brought forward by three days. It was now due to leave at 11.30am the following day. That would give me an hour – sixty whole minutes – to get through immigration, customs, baggage return and travel across an unfamiliar city where I don’t speak the language. Pete’s worried tone was understandable. I was worried too.
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The wheelie keg-carrier being closely guarded at Heathrow I was flying with the Brazilian airline TAM. Not being a member of the jet-set I wasn’t familiar with this airline. This lack of familiarity didn’t exactly calm my nerves. I’m not a relaxed flyer. Being stuck in a fragile aluminium tube miles in the sky is not something I relish. A myriad of disaster scenarios flood my mind, each one provoking a sharp jab of panic-laden adrenaline. Accidental missile strike; bird-strike; terrorists; pilot error; technical failure; storms: they all scare the living be-Jesus outta me. People from Barrow don’t tend to be travellers. For us, a day trip to Manchester airport is a holiday. Skiing? Our town is freezing for eleven months of the year (and just chilly for the other one). Why would you want to have a cold holiday? Barrow’s at the end of a thirty mile peninsula: beaches – "if beaches is want you want I’ll give you beaches Sunny Jim" the voice of cultural baggage nags . And why would you want to encounter foreigners? My late grandfather’s attitude was “I went abroad once, it’s all flies and powdered egg and Rommel lobbing bloody shells – you won’t catch me going there again in a hurry.” And he never did I checked in the contraband, er, I mean luggage, without a hitch. The notably heavy, solid bag didn’t raise any eyebrows and was within the weight limit. With half an hour to kill I did the usual things – buy some fags for my mate and browse the reading matter on offer. In W.H. Smith I became aware of a man standing alongside me. Seventy-ish and exuding an air of education, his name quickly flashed into my mind. It was Kofi Anan. No minders, no hangers-on, no VIP lounge and an anorak shorter than his suit jacket. I rapidly tried to think of a way of striking up conversation with the former Secretary-General of the United Nations but he had the good sense to wander off before I could bend his ear about the CAMRA situation. I later saw him with the economy-class hoards at the gate for a flight to Nairobi. On the flight I sat next to Nicky (or more probably, Nikki), a fitness trainer and nutritionist from Hertfordshire. Post-divorce, she was having a big holiday touring South America. Gaining altitude through clouds I closed my eyes and repeated to myself the mantra “they’ve got radar, they don’t need to see; they’ve got radar, they don’t need to see … ” A soon as the seatbelt lights went off Nikki rooted in her bag. She popped a couple of pills and nothing much was heard of her again until we landed. On my other side was that most satisfying of luxuries – an empty seat. Well, it was empty until I spilled my books, magazines and iPod on it. The flight was uneventful apart from a raging storm of panic hormones. We were to change at Sao Paolo. Nicky was awake, or so it seemed, her eyes were open. Craning my neck I could see the rubber-streaked concrete coming up to meet us. Thump. We were down. The captain interrupted my sigh of relief by slamming on the brakes. Our seat belts strained as we all lurched forward. My forehead banged into the seat in front. Several hand-luggage lockers popped open. My initial thought was “THE RUNWAY’S BLOCKED: WE’RE DOOMED!” But no, we were just attempting to break the record for the world’s shortest landing by a commercial airliner. Nicky perked up. “I thought it might be like that. Two hundred people died in an over-run at this airport a couple of months ago.” As we taxied to the terminal in the distance I could see a big aeroplane-shaped hole in the perimeter fence. Beyond it I could see charred buildings. At Sao Paolo my phone beeped with a text message from nervous Pete. I updated him. “On time, landed at Sao Paolo, transfer on schedule.” |
I would have been quite happy to travel the two hundred and fifty miles to Rio de Janeiro by road. Not even in a motor vehicle, a donkey would do. But no, we were flying. I calmed myself by a feat of self-hypnosis. The morning sun blazed as we boarded the transfer plane. Over its P.A. I could hear the music of Tom Jobim*, Brazil’s most celebrated songwriter and musician. The man who put Brazil on the world’s music map. One of my top musical heroes. Perhaps my body’s supply of stress hormone was exhausted but I experienced the transfer flight to Rio in a state of bliss. The reassuringly new and shiny Airbus, the music, the tiredness, the golden beaches below, the thrill of being a million cultural miles away from Barrow-in-Furness – I was high. The feeling didn’t leave me until at least a week after I got home.
My airborne bossa nova reverie must have contrasted with Pete’s land-borne tension. Months of effort and thousands of pounds spent putting the venture into action – all hanging by a thread. A mono-lingual inexperienced traveller was about to attempt to evade customs with the illicit cargo the book depended on.
I made a hasty exit from the plane at Rio’s Tom Jobim Airport. If there were any seconds to gain, I was going to have them. I texted Pete that I’d landed. There was a queue at immigration, only twenty or so people. Fortunately it moved fluently and the immigration officers were quite friendly and welcoming. Next stop baggage. Kev the Keg was in one of the new-fangled bags with a built-in trolley. My own stuff was in a large rucksack. Hopefully both items had made friends and were travelling together. The luggage carousel chugged into life. I drummed my fingers on my trolley as I watched other people’s luggage do a couple of laps. I was the first passenger at the reclaim; as Sod’s Law would have it, Kev the Keg and my bag were launched through the rubber-flapped hole pretty much last. Quickly I scooted off in the direction of Customs – the hurdle over which I could trip and put the kaibosh on the whole operation. Scurrying through the airport corridors my heart pounded. Vivid images of Brazilian prisons, twenty to a cell flashed through my mind. The very worst that could happen is that I would have some form filling and a fee to pay. No, on second thoughts the very worst thing that could happen was confiscation of the cargo … and me in prison. Practically running, I headed for the green channel. My phone rang. It was Pete.
“Where are you?”
“I’m in Customs”
“Shit!”
“No, I’m in just in the queue for customs. Gotta go, it’s me.”
As I put the phone back in my pocket a cheery customs officer with his hand resting on his gun in its holster wished me “Bom dia” and waved me through. Phew. I texted Pete the good news.
In front of me were three cubicles, local taxi concessions. I asked the three simultaneously “which of you will get me to Copacabana the quickest?” The three lovely ladies chorused “we will sir”. Momentarily flummoxed, I opted for the firm on the right purely for the flawed reasoning that’s its cubicle was closest to the line of waiting cars. I gave the address of the hotel to the girl and explained I was in a hurry. She summoned a driver to whom, I presume, she described the need for speed. He nodded, turned to me and used the International Standard Body Language Gesture for “come on it’s this way, let’s get going.” He grabbed the bags and darted off to a red Peugeot.
11am and Pete rang. The driver taking him to the docks was insisting they leave. Panic was certainly not over. We had a brainwave. We’d meet in the middle. I handed my phone to the non-English speaking driver – “por favor?” Pete did likewise at his end. The drivers chatted to each other like old friends. Mine handed my phone back with a wink and a thumbs up. We accelerated away from the airport down the road past the docks. Pete rang again “they’ve decided it’s better if you come all the way to the hotel – too many potential problems doing it the other way". We sped along the highway. Hot and humid air ruffled what’s left of my hair. My heart pounded whilst bossa nova bliss conjured up images of Swinging Sixties caper movies. I saw myself as an on-the-run diamond thief evading justice in tropical Brazil or a spy tracking down an international ne’er-do-well. Rio’s ranks of near-derelict colonial-era buildings adjoining the road added to the sense of far-away exoticism.
After ten miles or so we turned off the freeway onto city streets. Of course, the traffic got considerably slower and denser. I informed Pete of the first half of this development. My driver, who I think may have been related to Emerson Fittipaldi, lit a cigarette and emitted a long sigh. Nudging bumper-to-bumper we edged through the streets. I was struck by the general calmness of Brazilian traffic. No horn-leaning, no tyre-screeching, and oddity for a city known for its lawlessness, everybody calmly obeyed traffic lights. And cheery customs and immigration officials. I was starting to like Rio.
After we’d passed through a tunnel under one of Rio’s many hills the road opened again into a dual carriageway lined by hotels and important-looking office buildings. My driver pointed to the other end of the road. He turned to give me another grin and a thumbs-up. The dense traffic nudged its way along. Not really knowing where to look I scanned ahead. I’d told Pete to look for a red Peugeot. I was looking for a fretful Yorkshireman.
I think we spotted each other pretty much at the same time. He spotted a taxi; I spotted a strange phenomenon: like a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis and discovering its wings, I saw a man coming to life, emerging from an agonised former self. We pulled up at the kerb. I jumped out by Pete. Very British, we did one of those is-it-handshake-is-it-a-hug things. I think I may have punched the air. While the drivers shifted the liquid cargo Pete and I had chance for a quick chat and a couple of photographs. That was it. Our Rio meeting lasted about three and a half minutes. Looking relieved, though not entirely stress-free, Pete was off to catch his container ship. My supporting role in Hops and Glory was over. My three-day surprise holiday in Rio wasn’t though – I was determined to make the most of my adventure.
End of Part One.
* Antônio Carlos Brasileiro de Almeida Jobim wrote the song “Girl from Ipanema.” If at this point you are cringing, then you are a philistine. Ok, I concede the song has been tortured by every talentless crooner and half-competent cruise-liner band that ever existed. This doesn’t make it a bad song. It’s a brilliant song. It’s a work of art. And Tom Jobim was the genius who wrote it. On the plane to Rio we didn’t get that tune but we did hear a selection of his other equally brilliant tunes: Corcovado, Agua de Beber, Chega De Saudade, Wave, Stone Flower, Desafinado, Insensatez and more. Just ask, I’ll burn you a CD.
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