Wetherspoons Enters Never-Ending Sparkler Debate

Last night my brother and I popped into the Union Rooms in Newcastle Upon Tyne to try their festival beers.

I ordered a Schwarzbier (can't remember the name) and Ste a Woodforde's Dragon Hall. The barman apologised the Woodfordes had finished so, rather graciously, I turned round the pumpclip for him (I how this simple task often escapes them). This was revealed:

Note the staff instruction: "Use Southern Sparkler".

Eh, a what?

Since you were wondering: The wotsit Schwarzbier was agreeable but unmemorable; York Brewery Coppergate had "tantalising hints of niceness but otherwise vegetal yuk" according to Ste; Toshi's Amber spoiled by obvious oxidisation.

We moved onto the Bridge Hotel were we discovered a brilliant beer: "Hadda's Autumn" by Vale Brewing Company. It tasted like a lower strength version of Anchor Liberty Ale. And that is a very big compliment. Liberty is one of my desert-island beers. Tremendous.

Disappointingly, we encountered no atrocious beer names all evening.

Dirty and Ashamed Again

Yes, you guessed it – I set foot in a Wetherspoons again.

Having a few minutes to kill while I waited for a lift I popped into the Railway in Barrow-in-Furness. I was lured by the siren-call of "The World's Biggest International Real Ale Festival".

I was drawn to "Welton's Rauchbier" and my heart beat a little faster, my tastebuds roused from slumber.

Oh the disappointment, it's "available soon".

"Available soon" is a mendacious euphemism for "NOT AVAILABLE", and it made my blood boil. Hopes raised and dashed in seconds. I despise the way Wetherspoons do this.

I went home and took several showers scrubbing myself with a yardbrush and carbolic soap to rid myself of the Wetherspoons taint.

I feel dirty and ashamed...

... that I set foot in a Wetherspoons. I hate them. Your life is too short to spend time reading a rant about why I despise these hell-holes, so I won't do it.

It's that time of year again when Wetherspoons commission some interesting beers and like moths around flames the beer-curious flutter in.

I tried Firestone Walkers California Pale Ale (4.5%) -  fresh, (too) cold and indifferent. Somehow there seemed to be a hole in the flavour even after the beer had warmed up. The bitterness seemed not to be integrated. This is a style I have a lot of experience of: I've even judged the category at the GABF.

On the other hand:

Mikkel's Viking's Return (4.5%), a smoky, malty dark ale was a work genius. It was excellent. Danish brewer Mikkel Borg Bjergso brewed it for the festival at Jennings in Cumbria. A message to Jennings: don't let him leave with the recipe, steal it off him.