Wot, No Portman Group?

I'm going to Cairo for a week in April. 

I've being doing some research into Egyptian beer and I've found one that sounds right up my street.

How to a Write Pub Review

I'm a frequent visitor to Newcastle-upon-Tyne. There's a website and book dedicated to reviews of Newcastle pubs, bars and nightclubs that never ceases to entertain me – The Burglar's Dog. Don't let it put you off, it's a great beer town!

Gordon Ramsay's new pub book

Yesterday's Times magazine carried an extract and recipes from Big Gord's new book "Great British Pub Food."

"The Great British pub has a unique place in British life"... and so on.

Something bothers me. Yes, I know, it's the picture of Ramsay and his chum clutching what appear to be pints of Guinness. It's black, it has a creamy head and there's a golden harp branded glass. OK, I know Guinness is in thousands of British pubs, some huge percentage market penetration but, well, it's an Irish brand and they boast it's all brewed in Dublin. To plonk something overtly Irish in a British pub book is inelegant, to say the least.

This strikes me as a lack of attention to detail on the part of Gordo. Either that or some well-rewarded product placement.

I am reminded of a cheffy documentary I saw a couple of years ago. The young hotshot Aussie chef at some high profile London restaurant is seen swearing and shouting at all and sundry in the kitchen in the manner popularised by Gordo. One specific macho rant aimed at some cowering junior went something like this: "flavour, flavour, flavour, never stop thinking about it, your tastebuds never have a day off, they're your most valuable skill, your tastebuds will never let you down, learn how they work and taste everything." Later, the loudmouth chef was seen at home relaxing after a long shift shouting at people. He kicked off his shoes, slumped in front of the telly and .... wait for it .... opened a can of Stella.

My Heart Sinks...

...when I see rubbish like this.

What kind of grindingly unfunny "sense of humour" creates this  sort of thing?

Time after time beer drinkers who don't drink cask ale are asked "why don't you drink cask ale?" and time after time imagery is high on the list of dislikes. OK, imagery is a nebulous and ephemeral concept but I'm pretty certain the brand "cask ale" includes beer mats with dismal drawings and contrived wordplay.

It astonishes me that companies like Black Sheep probably have a marketing budget but ill-considered rubbish like this still enters the public domain.

If I was Stevie Wonder I'd sue.

YoB: #40

Vratislav (5%) - Cheap proper Czech lager from Tesco. I enjoy this beer, I've usually got a bottle or two lurking in the fridge. It's by no means the best lager I've ever tasted but it's head & shoulders above the industrial dross that dominates the market. I've never noticed any problem with skunkiness despite green glass. Highly recommended for when your mates expect you to have some lager in. I put the name "Vratislav" in Ratebeer and get 6 results - anyone which of the 6 it is?

YoB: #37, #38,

Okells Bitter in the Black Dog at Dalton-in-Furness. Disappointing, flat(ish), old & lifeless.

At home: De Konninck 1833 hoge gisting pur malt - Distinctly sour. Is it supposed to be like this, I can't remember? Wrong but very enjoyable.

Oz and James Disappointment

Until last night's episode I'd been enjoying Oz and James Drink to Britain. Firstly, it was nice to see beer getting some sympathetic media coverage, and secondly, they seemed to have done their research.

Unfortunately last night's episode (watch it here) was a big let down – shoddy and shallow.

Bugbear number 1: Given the rare privilege of sampling a 139 year old beer James May offered the trite comments "it's corked", "it's horrible, it tastes like it was strained through Magwitch's underpants, it's rotten". If I was Steve Wellington, minder of the old beers, I would feel very insulted that this TV ignoramus couldn't even make a sensible and perceptive comment on the flavour. I've tasted three or four beers from this collection and I know that they don't resemble anything you'd find in the pub. They more like a mysterious form of fortified wine something like a peculiar Medeira or Port with a dose of malt syrup – Tetley or Stella they ain't.

Bugbear number 2: The final sequence was an uninformed anti-lager rant. Anti-lager rants are what you expect from loudmouth CAMRA neophytes, not from renowned drinks writers and their sidekicks. Clarke repeated the oft-heard but lazily simplistic idea that lager's boom was due to clever advertising brainwashing beer drinkers - "a television advert could finally make people drink something they viscerally didn't want to drink". The duo then went on to taste lagers ("oh God, do we have to?" - Oz Clarke, "the least we can do is try the stuff" - James May) with curry. Isn't that a bit obvious? Lager and curry eh? How many milliseconds thought were given to that scene? ("Which lager goes best with curry? - Does it matter, would we notice?" - Oz). The duo went on to say disparaging things and make grimaces at some well-known dull lagers (I think I spotted Kinfisher) – but where was the necessary reminder that there are countless brilliant lagers in the world? No-bloody-where. 

yob: #34, #35, #36

A quiet night in:

Vedett Blanche.

A repeat of #34

Anchor Liberty Ale

This beer has been a major influence on my life. I first came across it in the mid-nineties. I was (and still am) entranced by layers of flavour. It doesn't call itself an IPA but surely that's what it is. Brewed since 1974 it is the mitochondrial Eve of the whole IPA revival. 

Rochefort 8
My favourite of all the Trappist beers. I particularly enjoy the long herbal hoppy finish which, it seems to me, isn't shared by its big brother Rochefort 10 although the 10 is generally rated higher. I haven't done a Rochefort v. Westvleteren head to head taste test but I suspect the Rocheforts would win. My natural scepticism suggests to me that super-rarity lifts people's perception of the Westvleterens. 

YoB: #34

At my brother's house in Newcastle-

Vedett Extra White (bottle) - I'm a massive fan of Belgian wheats, far more so than German weiss biers. I love the grassy flavours and the thirst-quenchingness. A lot more YoB entries would be Belgian wheat if I could get my hands on them in the Cumbrian boondocks. Back in the my days at Microbar in London we had loads. Celis on draught was a particular favourite - liquid custard creams with a helping of lemoniness and coriander seed. A proportion of people heartily disliked it and a distinct proportion couldn't get enough of it. When I find a beer is having that divisive effect on customers (somewhat paradoxically) I know its a special beer.

YoB: #33

I'm in the Bacchus, High Bridge, Newcastle upon Tyne, A Sir John Fitzgerald pub. It's a strange place: it's modern but seems to have an ambience of 1930s Ocean Liner - with halogen downlighters. The Burglar's Dog described it as "a bit like the Poseidon Adventure but, like, the right way up". It's one very big redeeming feature is that it's managed by a beer geek whose cellar-keeping is second to none. I've never had a bad pint there; in fact, It's provided some of the greatest pints of my life.

Jarrow Rivetcatcher - I'm still stuggling with the tail end of flu and my tastebuds are knackered but still I can tell this is a tremendous pint. I'm growing tired of Cascade hops as I feel they're often used clumsily but here they've been used with great sensitivity. 

As I drink I eavesdrop on a bunch of retirement-age chaps enjoying a pint and I hear they are talking about beer. I've been a beer geek for donkey's years but I often forget that a lot of cask ale drinkers see stronger beers (starting at about 5%), and particularly foreign stronger beers as somehow dangerous and intimidating. Years of practise have allowed me to switch between sips-of-strong and gulps-of-weak with ease but I forget that not everybody does this. One chap says "I went Belgium and it was all 6% [voice in classic exasperated Geordie rising intonation; friends gasp with horror and shake heads]. The best I could do was Stella at 5%".

YoB: #32

In the Black Dog, Dalton-in-Furness:

Okells Bitter. There are times when a straightforward pint of not-to-strong bitter is the greatest thing in the world. At the end of a long day the first pint seems to accompany an internal sound of the venting of steam pressure. Well, that's what I was hoping but unfortunately this was the first proper duff pint of the year: flat, brown and tasteless. Not Okell's fault, just one of those things. It happens sometimes.

Yob: #30, #31

A couple of beers in front of the telly:

Brewdog IPA. Has rapidly achieved the status of favourite but I fear it may lose in a shoot-out with Thornbridge Jaipur.

ORVAL. A love affair approaching fifteen years. The relationship has had its ups and downs and there've  been times when we haven't even been speaking. About 5 years ago Orval was was at its peak in (in my experience) but at present it seems a little two-dimensional, playing hard to get, a bit sulky.

YoB: #21, #22, #23, #24, #25

Yates Fever Pitch 3.9%

I rather enjoy Yates Bitter but this was fairly bland and uneventful.

Cumbrian Legendary Ales Wicked Jimmy 3.6%.

A bit nondescript, perhaps lacking freshness.

Golden Salamander 4.5%   

Just look how many beers this brewery produces. Indecision or innovation? You decide.

Sierra Nevada Pale Ale - 12oz bottle - The beer that changed my life. I first visited California in the mid-nineties. Discovering how different their craft beer culture was to ours was a revelation. I was so blown away that embarked on bringing a bit of US-style beer culture to the UK.

Yob: #28, #29

At the Black Dog Inn, Dalton-in-Furness:

Copper Dragon Bitter - tremendous, a little worty (which I like), biscuity malt and well-integrated hop character. Perfect condition. Pint of the Year so far.

At the Ship, Kirkby-in-Furness:

Ennerdale Blonde - Delicate blonde ale with an abundance of grassy hops (Saaz?). I love this sort of thing but that kind of hop character is ephemeral and can disappear overnight.

First Class Idiot

Malcolm Gluck

Yob: #26, #27

Lindeboom Pilsner (500 ml) - I love the soft biscuity maltiness of this lager. I surprised it doesn't get a better score on Ratebeer. I suspect the fact it's described as pilsner means it gets judged as such but it is somewhat "out of style" as they say at the GABF. Dropping the word "pilsner" would probably allow it a better score. 

Spaten Munchen (500ml) - not disimilar to the above. Thinner mouthfeel, more attenuated.

YoB: #26

Coniston Bluebird at the Swan, Ulverston.

This is the real stuff, not the faux bottled stuff, and tremendous it is too. I worship the way the Coniston people use hops. My personal Pint of the Year Award 2007 went to one of their seasonal beers, the name of which slips my mind. Again, it was the brilliant hop character (without high bitterness) that charmed me.

This entry should count for more than one YoB number, but I didn't count how many I had. Oops.

Yob: #19, #20

Ulverston Flying Elephants 3.9% (?)  I like this one. It's very pale ale with a melony hop character. My all-too-brief tasting notes belie a rather enjoyable beer. 

Whitehaven Brewery Ennerdale Autumn. First impression - nothing special but I am prepared to be corrected. I'm told it's being well received elsewhere.

Consumed at the Ship Inn, Kirkby-in-Furness where I regularly enjoy a daft pub quiz where the taking part is definitely more important than the winning.

YoB: #16, #17 & #18

At my mother's house with a Thai takeaway:

Biere d'or des Flandres 4%

I don't know anything about this beer and when it was thrust into my hand by my step-father I didn't bother scrutinising the label. It's one of those tiddly little bottles beloved of Johnny-foreigner of a French persuasion. Not unpleasant, no off-flavours but still a canoe beer.

Hawkshead Lakeland Gold 4.4%, 500ml bottle. Bears a passing resemblance to Sierra Nevada Pale Ale but is more rough round the edges and possessed of a character that may well be described as "abrasive."

Brewdog Punk IPA  6% - We all know this is a modern classic so I won't bang on about flavour. What I do really like about Brewdog is their studious avoidance of tedious ink-wasting favoured by more unimaginative brewers such as "finest traditional ale brewed from the choicest malt and hops."

YoB: #14 & #15

Barngates Cracker 3.9%

Dark session ale. Complex with spicy notes characteristic of this brewer.

Barngates Mothbag 3.9%

Pale session ale thankfully avoiding the very-pale-ale-with-too-much-Cascade cliche. Altogether more refined.

At the Black Dog Inn, Dalton-in-Furness - my favourite pub in my South Cumbria homelands.